This week I've heard or used the term "pet peeve" several times. I'm not sure if this means that I, along with all the other people around me, are particularly annoyed this week or if it's just a coincidence. And as I have listened to others talk about this subject I have come to a realization: usually the issue is not the pet peeve itself, but what that pet peeve represents to the person.
For example: cracking your gum. This is a pet peeve for many....and something I have been training myself not to do in order to avoid the wrath of anyone finding it particularly annoying. To the person with this as a pet peeve, cracking my gum really MEANS something. It is communicating to them that I am so completely wrapped up in my own world that I do not care enough to think of others. The noise may be bothersome, but the fact that I don't care makes it infinitely more annoying.
Or what about hygiene? Is it the odor we find so disgusting? Or could it be what that represents that seems so annoying? Last week I was at a student's wrestling match and I was reminded that young teenage boys have not fully mastered the art of using deodorant or odor eaters. And while the smell put me off a bit, I just laughed to myself and thought, "someday they'll figure it out." But when I'm in an elevator with a grown adult and the same odor lingers up to my nose, it is a different reaction entirely. What is being communicated is not adolescent ignorance, rather, it is a lack of concern for themselves and others.
Now I know this isn't always the case with every time someone cracks their gum or forgets to use something strong enough for a man but made for a woman. Sometimes, people just forget. But the point I'm trying to make is that pet peeves rarely annoy us just because of what they are....it's what they represent that we tend to find so disturbing.
The last few weeks in youth group I have revealed to the students some of my "pet peeves" in the Church. One of them is "Welcome to the house of God." I told the students I would give them my car if they could find anywhere in the Bible after Jesus's resurrection that the dwelling place of God was in a building of any kind. I felt secure in making this bet because it isn't in there. The dwelling place of God ceases to be in a building and instead dwells in us from that point on. We become the temple of the Holy Spirit, not the building. That phrase is a pet peeve of mine because it sends the message that the only place someone can encounter God is in a church building and that is completely false! Burn the building down and we are still the Church....the presence of God still dwells in us! This drives me crazy!!!
But when I listen to the folks who usually say this, I find a completely different meaning to that phrase. Some of them have made incredible sacrifices to bring that building into existence. They have seen God do amazing things in the lives of people in that building. They have seen their children baptized and married in that building and watched them take communion for the very first time in that seat. And perhaps they were there the day the building was completed and they prayed prayers to dedicate this chunk of earth and the construction to the Lord. In their mind....this building belongs to God and is set apart for His use. In that sense it is kind of "sacred."
This phrase still drives me crazy. I will still fight tooth and nail that I'm right. And I do still worry that if we put too much emphasis on the building we will miss a MAJOR point of what it means to be the Church of Jesus Christ. But when I listen to the meaning others have behind this statement, I am far more apt to extend grace and discover the value my brother or sister has placed here. And I realize that my emphasis on being "right" can keep me from real relationship with the Body....the very thing I was trying to protect.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The myth of certainty
I've thought a lot lately about how often we search for some kind of certainty in the world. And, if we cannot find it, we retreat into finding some safe alternative that gives at least a glimpse of the dream we were once searching for. Out of fear, insecurity, and doubt we (myself included) seem to constantly be scrambling for certainty, security, and stability.
I see this as people plan for their futures...they try to find an investment plan that has zero risk with as much reward as possible. They play it safe in order to "secure" what they have. Parents tighten their hold on their kids because they are so scared of anything bad ever happening to them. Not to mention people will stay in the same job year after year and hate it because the income is stable, they know what to expect, and it's "tolerable." And it isn't always in dramatic ways. It can be as simple as how we relate to our spouse, siblings, and coworkers. We find a routine that "works" and even though it isn't what we had dreamed of, we stick with it because, well, it's what we know. And while I'm speaking about people in general, I know this is true of me as well. I am inclined to not have "that conversation" because I know it will bring conflict...and conflict is unpredictable. If I keep my mouth shut, I know the relationship won't be all I want it to be, but at least there will be something resembling a relationship present. If I have "that conversation," there's no telling what might happen! The lure of certainty, predictability, and security keep me from experiencing the depth of relationship that only comes after conflict has been resolved.
Don't get me wrong, there are times when I'm glad people search for some measure of security. I'm glad that the people who built my house tried to create a "secure" foundation and strong structure. I'm glad I started planning for retirement early and I'm just as glad that I didn't put that money in frivolous investments. And there are times in my relationships I need to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." But those things are a mixture of preparation and wisdom rather than a pursuit of security and certainty. Wisdom and preparation help me achieve the dreams God has given me in the best way and in the best timing. Pursuing security and certainty lure me in to giving up those God given dreams for something less in order to avoid fear.
But even though certainty is alluring, it is a flat out myth. I have never found a "risk free" investment. I've never heard of doctors giving 100% guarantees that your surgery will come out fine. I've never heard of a house that a tornado can't take down, termites can't eat, and that real estate market can't devalue. And I've never heard of anything worth pursuing that did not involve risk. Certainty is a myth. We are guaranteed nothing. And all the things we do to try to desperately hold on to certainty and security are offerings to idols who can never promise us anything. It is sad to think of how much energy we expel every day just to keep that fear at bay.
The only certainty we have is in our relationship with God. We can ALWAYS trust that He is GOOD even when things around us are bad. We can ALWAYS know that He is with us...even when we can't see, feel, or experience it the way we would like to. So, as you attempt to plan for your financial futures, let God guide you. As you relate to your parents, spouse, siblings, friends, or the random dude on the street, don't walk around on egg shells afraid of what might happen...trust that God is with you, He is enough, and He will still be there no matter how "that conversation" goes.
And as you look at your life, your dreams, and the things that you really want in life, don't dock your boat. Don't settle for second place just because it's easier or you have a better shot at it. Go for the dream 100% and if you wind up in second place at least you will never have to wonder what would have happened if you tried just a little harder. I think my greatest fear in life is reaching the end of my life and upon reviewing my life I ask myself, "What if I had done more, given more, pursued that dream, or risked myself more." I can handle the idea of not measuring up....but the idea of regretting never getting in the race is terrifying!
Your dreams are too important, too valuable, and too meaningful to be "settled" for. You are too important, valuable, and worthy for God to ever give up part way on the dreams He gave you. If He is willing to give His all for you, He won't give up on you either. So, don't give up on the dreams you've been called to out of fear. Trust the One who called you and never give up!
I see this as people plan for their futures...they try to find an investment plan that has zero risk with as much reward as possible. They play it safe in order to "secure" what they have. Parents tighten their hold on their kids because they are so scared of anything bad ever happening to them. Not to mention people will stay in the same job year after year and hate it because the income is stable, they know what to expect, and it's "tolerable." And it isn't always in dramatic ways. It can be as simple as how we relate to our spouse, siblings, and coworkers. We find a routine that "works" and even though it isn't what we had dreamed of, we stick with it because, well, it's what we know. And while I'm speaking about people in general, I know this is true of me as well. I am inclined to not have "that conversation" because I know it will bring conflict...and conflict is unpredictable. If I keep my mouth shut, I know the relationship won't be all I want it to be, but at least there will be something resembling a relationship present. If I have "that conversation," there's no telling what might happen! The lure of certainty, predictability, and security keep me from experiencing the depth of relationship that only comes after conflict has been resolved.
Don't get me wrong, there are times when I'm glad people search for some measure of security. I'm glad that the people who built my house tried to create a "secure" foundation and strong structure. I'm glad I started planning for retirement early and I'm just as glad that I didn't put that money in frivolous investments. And there are times in my relationships I need to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." But those things are a mixture of preparation and wisdom rather than a pursuit of security and certainty. Wisdom and preparation help me achieve the dreams God has given me in the best way and in the best timing. Pursuing security and certainty lure me in to giving up those God given dreams for something less in order to avoid fear.
But even though certainty is alluring, it is a flat out myth. I have never found a "risk free" investment. I've never heard of doctors giving 100% guarantees that your surgery will come out fine. I've never heard of a house that a tornado can't take down, termites can't eat, and that real estate market can't devalue. And I've never heard of anything worth pursuing that did not involve risk. Certainty is a myth. We are guaranteed nothing. And all the things we do to try to desperately hold on to certainty and security are offerings to idols who can never promise us anything. It is sad to think of how much energy we expel every day just to keep that fear at bay.
The only certainty we have is in our relationship with God. We can ALWAYS trust that He is GOOD even when things around us are bad. We can ALWAYS know that He is with us...even when we can't see, feel, or experience it the way we would like to. So, as you attempt to plan for your financial futures, let God guide you. As you relate to your parents, spouse, siblings, friends, or the random dude on the street, don't walk around on egg shells afraid of what might happen...trust that God is with you, He is enough, and He will still be there no matter how "that conversation" goes.
And as you look at your life, your dreams, and the things that you really want in life, don't dock your boat. Don't settle for second place just because it's easier or you have a better shot at it. Go for the dream 100% and if you wind up in second place at least you will never have to wonder what would have happened if you tried just a little harder. I think my greatest fear in life is reaching the end of my life and upon reviewing my life I ask myself, "What if I had done more, given more, pursued that dream, or risked myself more." I can handle the idea of not measuring up....but the idea of regretting never getting in the race is terrifying!
Your dreams are too important, too valuable, and too meaningful to be "settled" for. You are too important, valuable, and worthy for God to ever give up part way on the dreams He gave you. If He is willing to give His all for you, He won't give up on you either. So, don't give up on the dreams you've been called to out of fear. Trust the One who called you and never give up!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Christmas Communion
Recently I got to help with possibly my favorite pastoral responsibilities....Communion. Wether you call it Eucharist or Communion and wether you believe the bread and juice represent the actual Body and Blood of Jesus or if they are symbols, being part of this sacrament has profound implications for who we are as Christians. No matter what your denomination, all of us who believe in Jesus believe that when we come to the table, Jesus meets us there.
Almost every time I help serve Communion I experience something new. I remember one time when a student made me laugh out loud because he dipped this bread in the juice more like a Tostito's chip into a bowl of salsa than a chalice. It made me laugh but I am reminded that the last supper was probably filled with serious moments like Jesus washing the disciple's feet as well as moments of laughter. I don't know about you, but when I get together with 12 of my closest friends there is bound to laughter that shakes the windows as well as deeply personal and serious moments.
But this Sunday I watched people's hands as they took a piece of bread and dipped it in the juice. Some people had well manicured nails while others had grease under them from working on machinery all week. Some had hands crippled by arthritis while others had a newborn baby in their hands. Wrinkly hands, young hands, hands of all different colors, hands with spots, hands with scars, strong hands, feeble hands, hands that fix, hands that nurture, and hands that heal. All these different hands were reaching into the basket and trying to grasp a small piece of God's grace. I contemplated how incredible and profound it is to think that Jesus came for each and every person in this world. He came for the people who are young and old, scarred, tired, broken, and dirty. And what an amazing mystery that at Christmas time when we celebrate that Jesus is Emanuel (God with us), that He really does meet us as we come to the table.
So to all of you out there who have taken part of this Sacrament recently or for those of you who are coming to the table soon, may you know that whomever you are, wherever you've been, and whatever you've done, there is a place set for you...a feast prepared for you...this is the Body of our Lord Jesus Christ broken and shed for you. Take. Eat. Amen.
Almost every time I help serve Communion I experience something new. I remember one time when a student made me laugh out loud because he dipped this bread in the juice more like a Tostito's chip into a bowl of salsa than a chalice. It made me laugh but I am reminded that the last supper was probably filled with serious moments like Jesus washing the disciple's feet as well as moments of laughter. I don't know about you, but when I get together with 12 of my closest friends there is bound to laughter that shakes the windows as well as deeply personal and serious moments.
But this Sunday I watched people's hands as they took a piece of bread and dipped it in the juice. Some people had well manicured nails while others had grease under them from working on machinery all week. Some had hands crippled by arthritis while others had a newborn baby in their hands. Wrinkly hands, young hands, hands of all different colors, hands with spots, hands with scars, strong hands, feeble hands, hands that fix, hands that nurture, and hands that heal. All these different hands were reaching into the basket and trying to grasp a small piece of God's grace. I contemplated how incredible and profound it is to think that Jesus came for each and every person in this world. He came for the people who are young and old, scarred, tired, broken, and dirty. And what an amazing mystery that at Christmas time when we celebrate that Jesus is Emanuel (God with us), that He really does meet us as we come to the table.
So to all of you out there who have taken part of this Sacrament recently or for those of you who are coming to the table soon, may you know that whomever you are, wherever you've been, and whatever you've done, there is a place set for you...a feast prepared for you...this is the Body of our Lord Jesus Christ broken and shed for you. Take. Eat. Amen.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Beauty of Ministry
There are a million things I love about ministry. But the one I'm acutely aware of today is the bizarre variety of things that happen. Last week I looked at my calendar and this week was pretty empty, but it's only Wednesday and I've already visited a new baby that was born, run down to the thrift store to by a crazy santa sweater for an event, visited with a woman considering kidney donation, planned youth group for Sunday, attended Monday night football with everyone, sent our reminders, invitations, and announcements about a variety of things, and a few minutes ago I got to ring the children's bell choir bells so our children's pastor could get things in order for the Christmas program! Life is just funny!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Don't Dock Your Boat
One of my favorite new (or new-ish) songs is "God of this City." Sure, it's a bit repetitive, but I still love the message of it..."Greater things are yet to come....greater things are still to be done." My husband and I actually had it as one of the songs in our wedding because we wanted that day to be one where God got the credit for what He had done in our lives and because we never wanted to forget that our wedding day was a launch pad rather than a destination. Even though God had done amazing things in our lives up to that point, even though our wedding was very special, and even though we were exceedingly thankful for what God had done, we never wanted to lose sight of the fact that God has called us to even greater things than where we are right now.
I think a lot of time people give up somewhere along the way. People travel down the river of life and decide it's time to dock the boat and give up the journey...either because they have a lack of character or life just got too tough. Some appear to have gotten stuck on a sand bar and never bother to put any effort into getting un-stuck...they seem content to just sit there.
Now some of these boat dockers are people I have an immense compassion for. They have experienced extremely difficult waters and the terrifying possibility of going through something that difficult again is paralyzing. And I believe there is a time and a place for temporarily anchoring your vessel, taking some time to catch your breath and regroup, make sure the boat is still in one piece, and potentially to chart a new course. There is no shame in that...in fact, I'd say it's often the most important part of the journey. Healing, rest, Sabbath, and reprieve are essential and should never be taken lightly. Far too many people plough ahead down the river with no idea where they are going, how they are getting there, and they miss all the good things along the way that are meant to be taken in, savored, and enjoyed. No wonder they burn out and dock their boats!!! Take time to rest. When you need healing, give yourself time to heal and ask God to repair the broken pieces. Take time to figure out where you want to go and plot a course to get there. And don't forget to enjoy the scenery around you....God's creation is magnificent!
But there is danger in lingering too long. We can get too comfortable on the shore line sometimes. Sometimes we are stuck there out of fear of getting hurt....again. Sometimes we are scared of what would happen if we really did succeed. Sometimes we are trapped by all those voices that have told us we will never make it. Sometimes it is plain old fashioned laziness. Whatever the reason...life on the shore line is not what you were created for. God has called and created each one of us to be partners with Him in His amazing redemption mission to bring the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven. We are involved....we are active...and we have a mighty purpose! This is not shoreline living!!! This is boat living...white water rafting....kayaking....canoeing....ACTIVE!!!
Sometimes I find myself calling out to people along the shores as the river's current takes me farther down the river, "Cast off!!" "You should see what is just around the bend!" "There's more left to see!" "God is not done with you yet!!!!!!!!" It isn't my job to dock my own boat, pick them up, throw them in their boat, and force them back on the journey. All that effort would just leave me off course, exhausted, and they would just park their boat again as soon as there was another opportunity. No, each of us has the free will to be a part of God's great adventure or not...the journey cannot be forced.
Sometimes I find myself calling out to people who are just getting ready to dock and my heart breaks for them. I can see the battered boat, the exhaustion, the fear, and the battle wounds. In some cases, we have endured the same rapids....in other situations, I know nothing of their suffering. So I slow my boat momentarily and call out, "Rest here for a while!" "Drop anchor for a bit and mend your boat." "Collect your self again and let God remind you of why you are here!" "But PLEASE! PLEASE do not dock your boat for long!" The reality is, somewhere down this journey, I might find some more rough rapids myself. I may be tempted to dock as well. And if they stay put....if they dock permanently....or if they just stay stuck, who will be there to call out to me when I am tempted?
Greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done. I choose to live in the reality that I am called to be part of a great and holy adventure. I choose to continue the journey. And in the process, I believe God journeys with us....guiding and navigating us into a relationship with Him that is unparalleled. I choose not to dock my boat.
I think a lot of time people give up somewhere along the way. People travel down the river of life and decide it's time to dock the boat and give up the journey...either because they have a lack of character or life just got too tough. Some appear to have gotten stuck on a sand bar and never bother to put any effort into getting un-stuck...they seem content to just sit there.
Now some of these boat dockers are people I have an immense compassion for. They have experienced extremely difficult waters and the terrifying possibility of going through something that difficult again is paralyzing. And I believe there is a time and a place for temporarily anchoring your vessel, taking some time to catch your breath and regroup, make sure the boat is still in one piece, and potentially to chart a new course. There is no shame in that...in fact, I'd say it's often the most important part of the journey. Healing, rest, Sabbath, and reprieve are essential and should never be taken lightly. Far too many people plough ahead down the river with no idea where they are going, how they are getting there, and they miss all the good things along the way that are meant to be taken in, savored, and enjoyed. No wonder they burn out and dock their boats!!! Take time to rest. When you need healing, give yourself time to heal and ask God to repair the broken pieces. Take time to figure out where you want to go and plot a course to get there. And don't forget to enjoy the scenery around you....God's creation is magnificent!
But there is danger in lingering too long. We can get too comfortable on the shore line sometimes. Sometimes we are stuck there out of fear of getting hurt....again. Sometimes we are scared of what would happen if we really did succeed. Sometimes we are trapped by all those voices that have told us we will never make it. Sometimes it is plain old fashioned laziness. Whatever the reason...life on the shore line is not what you were created for. God has called and created each one of us to be partners with Him in His amazing redemption mission to bring the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven. We are involved....we are active...and we have a mighty purpose! This is not shoreline living!!! This is boat living...white water rafting....kayaking....canoeing....ACTIVE!!!
Sometimes I find myself calling out to people along the shores as the river's current takes me farther down the river, "Cast off!!" "You should see what is just around the bend!" "There's more left to see!" "God is not done with you yet!!!!!!!!" It isn't my job to dock my own boat, pick them up, throw them in their boat, and force them back on the journey. All that effort would just leave me off course, exhausted, and they would just park their boat again as soon as there was another opportunity. No, each of us has the free will to be a part of God's great adventure or not...the journey cannot be forced.
Sometimes I find myself calling out to people who are just getting ready to dock and my heart breaks for them. I can see the battered boat, the exhaustion, the fear, and the battle wounds. In some cases, we have endured the same rapids....in other situations, I know nothing of their suffering. So I slow my boat momentarily and call out, "Rest here for a while!" "Drop anchor for a bit and mend your boat." "Collect your self again and let God remind you of why you are here!" "But PLEASE! PLEASE do not dock your boat for long!" The reality is, somewhere down this journey, I might find some more rough rapids myself. I may be tempted to dock as well. And if they stay put....if they dock permanently....or if they just stay stuck, who will be there to call out to me when I am tempted?
Greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done. I choose to live in the reality that I am called to be part of a great and holy adventure. I choose to continue the journey. And in the process, I believe God journeys with us....guiding and navigating us into a relationship with Him that is unparalleled. I choose not to dock my boat.
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